How to Support a Partner Dealing with Depression

This article talks about how to support a partner dealing with depression using 10 helpful tips. 

Dating a person suffering from depression is not easy. Your relationship can feel like a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs.

It can be heartbreaking to see the person you love struggle with their mental health. However, there are ways you support them with all the help you can provide.

How to Support a Partner Dealing with Depression 

Here are 10 ways on how to support a partner dealing with depression: 

1.    Learn More About Depression 

Take some time to learn about depression. This includes its causes, symptoms and effects on a person and how it can be treated/managed. 

You may be new to all this so you can do some googlin’ to research about it. You can even take notes! 

Once you’ve learned all that information, it’s time to ask your partner in a kind way about their experience, how they feel and what they do to cope. You can also ask them what you can do to help them feel better. 

2.    Accept Them Even with their Depression  

By learning about depression and how they feel, remember your goal is not to ‘fix’ them. They are not broken. You should try to accept them and their depression for what it is and still continue loving them. 

Don’t overwhelm them with constant advice and tips on how to not be depressed. This only shows that you’re trying to ‘fix’ them quickly because you feel their condition is an inconvenience to you and that it’s not a big deal and they can get over it.  

Remember mental illness is real. Take it slow. There are things you can do to encourage them – 

3.    Encourage them to Seek Professional Help

Many people with depression may feel ashamed or deal with negative self-talk that prevents them from seeking professional help. 

You can help build their confidence and if they’d like it, offer to sit with them through the first few sessions! This can strengthen your relationship.

4.    Listen to them and Validate their Feelings

A lot of people suffering from depression hide their depression. In most cases, they don’t want to burden their loved ones with their problems. 

Ask them how they are, if they want to talk, and listen to them patiently. Remind them you’ll always be there for them. 

However, don’t forget about your own boundaries. Don’t forget to take care of yourself while being available to a loved one in need. 

5.    Be Patient with Them

Depression can make people unpredictable. They may cancel plans, not show up or lack the energy to get certain stuff done.

Try to be as patient and understanding as possible. It may be frustrating but they don’t want to hurt you. Know that depression can cause ever changing moods and behavior.

Severe depression can make acts like getting out of bed, which is easy for you, an impossible task for your partner.

You can help your partner by helping them focus on taking small steps every day and acknowledging them as achievements. 

For example, if your partner struggles to get out of bed daily, letting them just focus on getting up, taking a shower and eating a healthy breakfast is a great improvement!  

6.    Do Not Take it Personally

Another one of the most important ways of how to support a partner dealing with depression is – don’t take it personally! 

This should probably even be the first point. Please do not take their depression personally! 

As we saw above, depression is unpredictable and causes mood swings. If your partner is smiling one minute and crying the next – it happens. 

If they are snapping at you or ignoring you, don’t take it personally.

It’s not about you – don’t think you’re the one at fault. You can both sit down and talk about their potential triggers and how to work through them. 

7.    Don’t Make Depression A Big Part of their Life 

Not everything is about their depression. When your partner comes to you with a problem, don’t rule it out as depression right away. 

Don’t put off plans together or cancel fun activities because you think they won’t attend since they’re depressed anyway. 

People with depression are not always depressed. They can have periods where they feel better and they definitely feel other emotions too! 

If you see them laughing, don’t be surprised and remind them of their depression. They deserve to feel heard or validated without being reminded or written off as a depressed individual. 

Consulting them before scheduling any activities can make them feel included and needed. Depressed people often feel unloved and unneeded even if they are not. 

8.    Create a Friendly Home Environment 

If you live with your partner, then you can help make home feel like a safe comforting and soothing place. 

Depression can reduce a person to a low place where they find it hard to make healthy choices. It can create bad sleeping and eating habits. 

A change in lifestyle or creating a friendly home environment can make a huge difference during the treatment process.

You can do things like focus on healthy eating by making nice meals together, working out together, drive with them to appointments with the therapist or psychiatrist and also making any plans together. 

9.    Know the Warning Signs of Suicide

This sounds scary but it is very important. The risk of suicide can be high in people with major depressive disorder. 

It’s best to know the warning signs so that you can get immediate medical assistance. 

Some of the signs include: 

• Taking about suicide 
• Extreme mood swings 
• Social withdrawal
• Getting ways to attempt suicide like buying a gun or buying unnecessary prescription pills
• Always having suicidal thoughts 
• Being reckless such as driving without a seatbelt 
• Self-destructive behavior such as drug or alcohol abuse 
• Personality changes 
• Giving away belongings
• Goodbye or suicide notes 

10. Don’t Forget that you Exist too! 

While being there for a depressed partner, don’t forget to take care of yourself too! 

Support your own mental health because being there for a depressed partner can drain your energy! Don’t feel that you’re a bad partner for feeling exhausted caring for a loved one who is depressed. 

You can have your own therapist, and also talk to trusted friends or family when you need them. 

By loving and taking care of your own self is when you can also support a partner dealing with depression in a healthy way. 

Those are just some of the important points to help you know how to support a partner dealing with depression. Do you have any other tips and advice? Share below!